One Year On: What My Relationship has Taught me and Dropping the ‘Cool Girl’ Act

Being totally frank, I’ve been through the rounds when it comes to boys.

I’ve got a fair few relationships under my belt and as for kiss-and-tells, well, there are more than I can count on two hands.

Despite this, I’m no expert when it comes to relationships..break-ups maybe.

I’ve been with my current boyfriend, George, for almost a year now and the anniversaries are creeping up on us: our first date, our first kiss, the first time we…

Before George came along I was much tougher; I thought anniversaries were lame and I would cringe at terms like ‘the one’ and ‘soulmate’.

In hindsight, I think I was scared, not only of commitment but scared to let go of my ‘cool girl’ act – if I wasn’t as laid back as Horizontal Harry then I wouldn’t be able to keep a guy interested, he’d be off quicker than a ripe avocado in a fruit bowl and I would be labelled a ‘crazy girlfriend’.

The thing is, I do care about my relationship. I care a lot. Now maybe because it’s finally the right relationship or maybe because I’ve done some growing up.

Anyone who reads my blog on the reg. will know how openly I speak about my mental health issues (I don’t shut up about it) and these issues don’t make me the easiest person to be with, I’m up and down like a bloody car window and I’ve got extremely high expectations for myself, my partner and my relationship. Rather than trying to wash over this, pretending I’m all fine and letting things fester I’ve learnt to speak up about how I feel and delve into why I feel the way I feel. I really believe this has created a happier and healthier relationship for me and my partner in crime.

My Dad recently said: “for a successful relationship you have to have goals as a couple” (not to be mistaken with #couplegoals) and it really resonated with me. Those goals can be anything, from buying a house to adopting a puppy (a personal favourite there), because you can’t just set your relationship free into the abyss and expect it to survive. You need to make changes for each other, you need to compromise and you need something to work towards.

So what does all this have to do with anniversaries you’re asking? Well, I think it goes hand in hand, you have to celebrate what you’ve done together, look back at what’s worked and cherish memories and milestones (like a one year anniversary) to have a successful future.

So this weekend I’ll be off celebrating an albeit small, but important milestone with George and leaving Frank and Harry behind.

3 thoughts on “One Year On: What My Relationship has Taught me and Dropping the ‘Cool Girl’ Act

  1. I am so happy for you and your relationship. I can definitely relate to the whole “cool-girl” act. I used to sabotage my own relationships or “break up first so that they would never break up with me.” You are right though, once you find a person worth taking the walls down for… Everything changes. I love your suggestions setting goals and reaching milestones as a couple really helps with the bonding process. Happy 1 year anniversary!

    ❤ Alana


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