This week something awful happened and someone absolutely slandered my name.
Now I’m not here to tell tales, but I do want to talk about my reaction to what happened.
You’d think, being in the internet game, I’d have thicker skin but sadly I don’t; I’m a sensitive soul, an overthinker and OH BOY can I worry.
As soon as ‘this thing’ happened (we’ll call it episode X for now), as soon as episode X happened, even though my hands were clean, I lay awake and thought of all the things I’d done to deserve things going horribly wrong, like the time I said I was taking out when I was actually sitting in, the time I didn’t recycle my coffee cup and the time I got student discount without being a student.
This isn’t the first time I’ve thought this way, no, no, this has been my go-to reaction for as long as I can remember.
You see, it’s one thing to be upset, it’s one thing to call your Mum and Dad at 11 pm in tears, but it’s another thing to believe you deserved it. This ‘it’s karma’ thinking solves zero problems.
Maybe it’s because I like to feel like I have some control, like if I do good then good will come back to me. In a way, I’m sure this is true: if I surround myself with good like-minded people, if I do my best, then chances are, sticky situations will be few and far between, but sadly sometimes, it’s just life, isn’t it? Things are going well, then all of a sudden you’re hurtling downhill quicker than a Yummy Mummy running towards a Cath Kidston sale.
So why should I feel like I deserve bad things to happen to me? If this had happened to a friend would I believe they deserved it? No, of course not.
Some things are beyond your control, but you can change the way you deal with them, and if you do, if you stop beating yourself up, you’ll be able to deal with not just an episode, but a whole damn series!