Warning: I’m about to air out some dirty laundry. You ready for some girl talk ladies?
Back in 2017, I threw in the hormonal contraception towel.
I. Was. Done.
If you’ve been following my blogs and articles this may feel like yesterday’s news, but I promise I’m not about to repeat myself. This post is taking a slightly different direction.
First, some background info: I started taking the pill when I was 15 years old and had different forms of hormonal contraception until last year, when I was 27. I thought it was messing with my mental health, my weight and my sex drive, so I decided to swap sticks, pills and coils for rubber.
I know exactly when I’m ovulating
Over the past thirteen months I’ve slowly got to know my body. This sure as hell didn’t happen overnight, but I’ve learnt to read the signs.
Now I know exactly when I’m ovulating: my breasts will be huge, painful and tender (even hugging a teddy bear feels like torture), I get a twinge in my ovaries, I get really hungry, my discharge changes, my weight increases (ugh) and my libido goes through the roof (more on this later).
My moods swing as much as a sweet chariot carrying someone home. I hoped this might disappear if I stopped pumping my body with hormones, but while they haven’t improved per say, knowing why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling helps a little.
For two weeks before I’m due on I’m irritated, (everyone starts bouncing on my last nerve), I’m impatient, I’m less motivated, it’s harder to socialise and I will probably cry. Like I said, it doesn’t fix this, but knowing I’m more sensitive stops me punishing myself for being quiet or hating myself for feeling lazy. It allows me to be kinder to myself and let things go. I give myself the space I need from other people, I allow myself to have a cry and I allow myself to take a nap – it’s not going to be the end of the world!
My periods have changed
Sadly, my periods have become heavier and more painful. As I sit in Starbucks right now there is dull ache in my lower abdomen. It feels like crabs grabbing at each of my ovaries – piss off you little bastards! This is probably the biggest negative for me, especially as I was period free for years thanks to the implant in my arm.
Over the past year my monthly cycle still hasn’t evened out. I was having periods every 21 days when I first went ‘au natural’ and it really sucked. Recently they’ve been 31 days..so who knows, maybe this is my new normal.
Clothes off, rubbers on
Depending on just condoms to prevent pregnancy can be quite scary. My boyfriend and I are SUPER careful but when you’re eleven days late, you feel sick and your PMS is mirroring the signs of early pregnancy it’s not enough to put your mind at ease (neither is a two negative pregnancy tests and a trip to the doctor).
As for ruining the mood or making ‘it’ feel shit? Well, it’s just part of the foreplay and not to bear all but ‘it’ couldn’t feel any better quite frankly.
While we’re on the subject of getting it on, and to add to what I was saying earlier, the best thing for me is getting my mojo back! My libido was as dead as a dodo when I was on hormonal contraception, but not anymore! I feel like a proper female again and it’s liberating.
So here it is, the big question: have I made the right decision? Definitely. I feel like the positives outweigh the negatives and I feel like my body has become a good friend I need to take care of, not an acquaintance I’d rather forget.